How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
