I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
