That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
