well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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