Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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