hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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