he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
