Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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