Dual....:-)
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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