Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
