he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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