Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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