ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
