we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well I just put wine in my tea
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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