and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
