I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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