Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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