If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
