3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
