If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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