It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Randomize
