Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I think my vagina is haunted
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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