Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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