I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
