Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
