I love watching others lives come down to our level.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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