he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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