If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
