i don't like sucking hair
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
this just has baby written all over it
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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