I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
