Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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