Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i love accidental penises.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
