..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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