I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
