He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Randomize