I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
