She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
