I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
