Im at strip club and am horny
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
