we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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