he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
