I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
