She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
