You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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