some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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