Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize