dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
