my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize