I hate all girls vehemently.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
