New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
