I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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