Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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