I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
