Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
