Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
