if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
