Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
