Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
