ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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