Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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