Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
