Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Quick, to the slutcave!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You have to summon your inner elephant
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
